Tickle tickle, tiny fingers,
Poke poke, tiny feet,
Jab, jab, tiny elbows,
Flutter flutter, tiny heart.
Pitter patter, chubby feet,
Pat pat, chubby palms,
Bump bump, chubby belly,
Thump, thump, growing heart.
Rock, rock, tired eyelids,
Sway, sway, able arms,
Shush, shush, whispers mama,
Loving from the very start.
– Sarah Bruss
Nitrous Oxide, commonly known as “laughing gas”, has been used for laboring women in many countries around the world since the 1930s. (“Call the Midwife” anyone? 🙂 ). And it is making a resurgence in the U.S.! It has a long track record of healthy outcomes for both mothers and babies. This, compared to epidurals, narcotics, and of course c-sections, which all have varying degrees of risks, seems to make nitrous oxide a good choice for women who desire some type of pain relief.
Here in Colorado, the Mountain Midwifery Center (a freestanding birth center) became the first to recently integrate this comfort measure for their birthing mothers. Please read the MMC’s article here on the science and history behind N2O, and the benefits they have seen: Mountain Midwifery Center article on N2O.
One of my doula colleagues also wrote a summarizing article on nitrous, which can be found here: Jubilee Doula article on N2O.
It seems hospitals are starting to reintegrate the use of nitrous oxide as well, including University Hospital in Colorado. Hopefully more and more institutions adopt this tool into their repertoire, to give laboring women the option.
Paid leave is a hot topic in this upcoming presidential election. Here is an NPR article comparing the United States to other countries with regard to paid vacation and maternity leave. As you will see, the U.S. is certainly an outlier among advanced economies!
NPR: Lots Of Other Countries Mandate Paid Leave. Why Not The U.S.?
After you’ve read the article…
Discuss: What do you think would be an ideal solution for maternity leave? Government mandated? Business driven? How much time off? What about paternal leave?
I just visited Baby+Co’s beautiful new birth facility in Wheat Ridge, CO – and my, what a treat! It has me reconsidering my plan for homebirth with baby #2! 😉
Baby+Company (www.babyandcompany.com) has set out to open birth centers across the nation, wanting to give pregnant women the chance to choose a hospital, birth center, or homebirth. The facilities are all designed similarly, in a gray and white pallette, each ginormous room outfitted with cushy bedding big enough for two, luxuriously deep bathtubs from labor or delivery, and even a bidet! (Seriously, why haven’t we thought of this before for mamas?!)
Up until recently, the Mountain Midwifery Center in Englewood (www.mountainmidwifery.com) has been the only birth center in Colorado. It isn’t easy to keep a birth center open for business, as evidenced by the many across the country that have had to shut their doors. (“The Surprising History of How We are Born”, by Tina Cassidy touches on this.)
The founders of Baby+Co combine marketing savvy with birth knowledge to bring us a beautiful happy medium between home and hospital birth. They are open for business in North Carolina, Arkansas, and now Colorado. They are opening facilities in Charlotte, NC, and Nashville, TN, to name a couple. In keeping with the birth center model, the centers are “fully equipped medical facilities with peaceful spa-like rooms so that you can relax and give birth in a calm environment.” For those of you who like to ambience of a homebirth but aren’t quite sure about being far from a hospital, consider Baby+Co in Wheat Ridge.
Coming up… A peek at Colorado’s existing birth center in their NEW spot! The Mountain Midwifery Center 🙂
There are so many opinions out there about one of the most natural, seemingly innate activities known to mankind… breastfeeding. It can be really frustrating for new moms to know what to believe in terms of what breastfeeding should look like. Part of the reason we have so many breastfeeding issues in our culture is because our minds interfere with an instinctual process. This blog post could be 100 times the length that it is, but we will save some subject matter for another day 🙂 Here, I try to simplify the major philosophies of breastfeeding for you, so that you can consider them and then make your own best choice.
Let’s start with some agreed-upon basics:
1. Before there were clocks, there were babies. And human babies’ biological makeup, genes, and therefore general behavior, haven’t changed too much over hundreds of years.
2. If babies are created with reflexes as newborns that are supposed to indicate hunger, chances are, we should be paying attention to those cues:
– mouth opening like a baby bird,
– rooting toward what he thinks is a nipple,
– especially active limbs
– sucking on fist
– fussing or crying (usually a late sign)
Now that we’ve gotten past the general facts, let’s look at a couple different philosophies on breastfeeding.
Please note, I personally believe that a combination of philosophies might be ideal for your family. My own baby, for instance, got to an age where he seemed to need more structure in his day, and planned breastfeeding times helped provide that. Or perhaps you are going back to work, and your nanny needs specific times to feed your baby so that she can watch the other five kids she’s caring for at the same time, etc….
In Baby-led feeding, mama generally follows baby’s cues and feeds him when he is showing the hunger signs.
The following books outline well the biological makeup of human babies and their mamas’ breasts, and FROM THERE, give guidelines for how breastfeeding works best.
“Breastfeeding Made Simple” is exactly what it sounds like, which is why I like it 🙂 In addition to what I mentioned previously, Mohrbacher and Kendall-Tackett’s book gives practical knowledge, like positions to try, and what to do if you have cracked nipples, etc.
“The Happiest Baby on the Block” by Dr. Harvey Karp is a great overall newborn guide. He takes us back to how parents have been interacting with babies for thousands of years, and explains biologically why this works.
I would recommend both of these books to new parents. The “Happiest Baby on the Block” also has a well-known DVD version. The book includes some reasoning, history, and cultural comparisons that the DVD does not.
Now, a very different philisophy on breastfeeding is based on the book “On Becoming Baby Wise” by Gary Ezzo, which was popular in the 90s and is still around in certain circles today. I would describe this as parent-led feeding: mom and dad decide when the baby should eat, by the clock.
Hm… You may be thinking, “That seems a little contradictory to what was said earlier about babies over the last centuries…. Furthermore, I think if someone told me I wasn’t hungry when I was trying to grab a sandwich, that person might just get a black eye!” 😉
An important observation I’ve made is that most (certainly not all) of the mamas who follow Baby Wise while their babies are newborns end up having supply issues. Your breasts are not made to go by the clock at that early stage. Your baby is growing and will need more and more milk as he gets bigger, so he is designed to breastfeed often (and during growth spurts, that might be every 30 minutes!) so that your supply can keep up with his growth.
(Sidenote, since this may be the only time I discuss Baby Wise by name — if you are one who often touts the Baby Wise book, you may be interested in looking into Gary Ezzo’s checkered history.)
But perhaps you choose to combine philosophies as baby gets a bit older. Another example of this: baby is 6 months old and still breastfeeding through the night, so the parents decide to gradually wean baby off of nighttime feelings so everyone can get more rest. Part of the Baby Wise philosophy is helping baby establish a routine, which is an important part of growing up.
I hope this has been helpful, albeit brief. Please let me know if you have thoughts or questions!
There are so many “must-have” lists for the newborn stage and every one of them is different! Here are the items that Paul and I have used most often in the two months Robinson has been in the world…
Changing area – Now that it’s finished, I love our changing room! And am so thankful my husband worked hard to make it look and feel nice. (This was one of those projects that started with “We’ll just add a little here and a little there… No big deal”, and ended with “What the heck – let’s just gut the entire thing!”. Needless to say, despite our best efforts to finish on time, Robinson was sans-changing room for the first couple weeks of his life 🙂 )
Anyway, I would encourage you to set up a changing room that you really enjoy, because you will be spending a lot of time in there. 😉 This is just a closet in which we stuck a small changing table and painted it a nice color. The mirror is a simple, lovely touch that makes it a pleasant place to be.
This is where Robinson’s clothes, cloth diapers, and little health gadgets (nasal aspirator, nail clippers, etc.) are stowed. We do not have a separate baby room for Robinson. SHOCKER, I know! Am I even American?! We figured, he was going to sleep with or very near us (so doesn’t need a crib), and really doesn’t need much besides diapers and some clothes for the first few months. So smaller space for baby = less temptation to fill it with STUFF.
Microfiber antibacterial cloths – These are a wonderful way to clean sticky fingers or give a sponge bath. Our Norwex baby cloths are antibacterial (silver infused) so no need to use soap – just water. The microfiber cleans really well too. I leave one of these near the changing table for impromptu cleanings, and one in our diaper bag (which is not on this list because we actually don’t use it more than maybe once per week right now).
Wrap carrier – It doesn’t matter which kind you buy, we have LIVED in our wrap these last months – we nap in it, walk in it, clean the house in it (when he’s sleeping)… Wrap carriers, whether it’s a stretchy t-shirt material (Moby or Boba) or a woven wrap, are great for the newborn period. They keep the little guy snuggled up like he was in the womb. After carefully weighing our options, we selected a convertible car seat suitable for infants which stays in the car, instead of an infant seat or “baby bucket”. So when we drive somewhere, I put my wrap carrier on, then when we get to our destination, I put Robinson right in the carrier. One main reason we decided on a convertible car seat was so I would “wear” him as much as possible and eliminate the temptation to leave him sitting on his own more often than he ought to.
Bouncy seat – Robinson hangs out in this simple seat (which can vibrate to soothe baby) when we need to set him down when we are, for example, eating dinner or showering. It’s light enough to move from room to room in the house without a problem, and we have even tossed it in the car to bring to a restaurant or someplace where it would be hard for one of us to wear him (remember, we don’t have a baby bucket car seat; this is our solution when we need to set him down instead of wearing him).
Swaddles – We have used both the velcro swaddlers that really keep baby wrapped up tight, and large blankets of various materials (muslin, t-shirt, waffle knit…). We have liked both types (though the velcro does wear out eventually), and have swaddled Robinson every night since he was born.
“Breastfeeding Made Simple” by Nancy Mohrbacher and Kathleen Kendall-Tackett – I read this book for my certification as a birth doula and found it simple and practical. It serves as a wonderful voice of reason amidst the erroneous breastfeeding advice or stories that new moms hear. I recommend this to all of my clients, and loan it out to them when they are close to their baby’s due date.
That’s it! Of course we use diapers and clothes every day, and there are a few other items we use occasionally, but really not much else… In the words of my midwife, “All baby needs is a breast and a smile.” 🙂
What items would YOU recommend to new moms? Answer in the comments below!
Pregnant?! Join us for a birthing support class at Amelia’s Mamas in Highlands Square. We will discuss: your birth concerns , philosophies on birth, coping methods, types of caregivers, postpartum options, helpful resources, and finally we will create a birth plan.
Quite a lot changes when you become a mother. For one, you realize which of your many expectations of parenthood were right (at least in your case) and which were way off – that being most of them 🙂
Here are some of my reflections thus far (in no particular order), as a first-time mom, six weeks into this great adventure…
1. I did not expect to feel so comfortable with what used to be R-rated words in my vocabulary: poop, nipple, and boob. And yet, to my inward horror, these words spring forth from my mouth on a daily basis. That accompanied by the ever-present badge of spit-up on my shirt and the faint smell of sour milk serve to lower my level of class a bit each day. 😉
2. I did expect to enjoy snuggling my baby, and indeed it is one of my favorite pastimes. I think my favorite is hoisting him up after eating to lean his elbows on my chest and look behind me out the window. His eyes are so full of wonder and learning! “The eyes are the window to the soul” – English Proverb. This is true of humans from the very beginning, I think.
3. My husband is one of the best fathers I have ever laid eyes on, and has fully lived up to what I imagined him being like with our son. He has been fully supportive, fully involved, and fully in love.
4. I knew my concept of “productivity” would change, and it certainly has! I used to be befuddled by conversations with stay-at-home-moms that implied there wasn’t much time in the day to do things like clean or cook or go to the store. Now I realize first-hand something I only knew in theory: My main job is to meet my baby’s needs. Sometimes that means folding half the laundry, then breastfeeding (while he is rooting and BEFORE he is crying – not that I do this with 100% success, but I try!), then changing him, then changing him again after he administers a projectile spit-up, and the rest of the laundry waits… maybe even a couple days.
5. Time does go as fast as people tell you. Our baby has literally changed with each passing day and it seems like months ago (instead of six weeks) that I was delivering him into the world…. However, this phrase “It goes so fast!” is one I like to tweak a bit. I recall this verse, “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” 2 Peter 3:8. I believe we were made in God’s image, and as such, have qualities of him in us. I think our sense of time is one of those qualities. Time goes quickly and slowly simultaneously, somehow. For Paul and I, we have been married five years — on the one hand, that seems like such a long time in numbers. On the other hand, it seems not long enough, because it’s difficult to remember life before being married. Similarly, it’s already hard to remember life without our baby, but he is six weeks old. Six weeks old already/only?! 🙂
Rather than think to myself, “It’s going so fast!” I prefer to think, “What a precious moment this is. I am going to savor it, and love its memory.”
I want my baby to grow, and want to see him learn all he is going to learn. But I hope not to rush it. Nor do I want to mourn each passing minute. I am going to soak it all in and LOVE being a mom.
Sarah Bruss, Denver Birth Doula 